After that he went away. As I had said, I did not dislike him?he was pathetic; but his tone of mind, his sudden change of front, unnerved me. It proved so absolutely that I was “going to go,” and I did not want to go?in that sense. The thing is a little difficult to explain, I wanted to take the job because I wanted to have money?for a little time, for a year or so, but if I once began to go, the temptation would be strong to keep on going, and I was by no means sure that I should be able to resist the temptation. So many others had failed. What if I wrote to Fox, and resigned? . . . Lea was deep in a manuscript once more.
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